Mind of Babes

I and many of my fellow writers are afflicted with a terrible disorder:  writer-side-stuck-onia. That is, the inability to shut off the writer half of their brain in any situation--be it serious like a funeral or mundane like a hard day at work. 

Raise your hand if you've ever caught yourself dissecting a book's plot, a movie's plausibility, someone's conversation as inappropriately-worded dialogue. Go on, raise your hands.

Yep. I'm sorry, but most of you are already terminal.

In that train of thought, about a week ago, I was babysitting a toddler boy around three years old. We had played a few games already with bubbles, Play-Doh and the like. I ran out of games, of course. Mostly because I was bored, not the boy. 

One of his playsets is a castle, with multiple doors, gates, and trapdoors. Since this child loves peek-a-boo, I put my hands at the back of the castle, scratched at the doors, and then poked my fingers out of the opening with fake growling sounds. The boy squealed of course as any child abruptly "booed" and then grinned. He liked being scared, as most of us do.

No, this is not a foray into Family Files. I'm going somewhere with this. Promise.

Since I have writer-side-stuck-onia, I of course thought of this situation with my writer's side murmuring.

My fingers were not scary, per say. In the situation, the boy was perfectly safe and in no danger. Why did it startle him? The actual "monster" was nothing at all, but the tension built before the monster appeared with my scratching (foreshadow) and the anticipation (suspense) of my fingers' reappearance.

Hmm. Looks like a writer formula for success.  If you warn the reader of impending doom/danger for the character, and then mingle it with the villain/monster/obstacle's arrival, you create tension.  Using it in scenes that need tension should then allow each scene to draw the reader forward. Breaking it down:

Foreshadow + Suspense = Tension.

And any good formula can be tested. Let's see:

Lord of the Rings: Fellowship

Foreshadow: Gandalf warns of Black Rider arrival +
Suspense:  Black Rider appears on the path =
Tension:   Race to the dock with Black Riders chasing. (My  heart was pounding)

Firefly: Bushwacked

Foreshadow: Wander through derelict ship, everything left behind +
Suspense:  Find a host of dead bodies =
Tension:  Someone/something jumps out at one of the characters. (I nearly screamed)

This formula seems to work for me. Check out your favorite books or movies, and the scenes that left you feeling bound up in knots of dread and fear. Dissect them. I'll bet you can find the same formula. 

Prove me wrong.

Foreshadow: Too Light, Too Heavy

Though I personally do not care for the product advertised in the video above, it does serve as an excellent illustration to my blog post for today. There are many components to a good story. Most of these are obvious if you've read much at all. A sound plot, well-rounded characters, sprinkle some description and snappy dialogue, and it's highly likely you will at least be on your way to an interesting story.

One aspect, however, that I have found lacking in many stories that I've read on various writing sites, and even in some published books, is the proper use of foreshadow.

For one thing, it can be very easy to allow this aspect to fall to the wayside. Problems with continuity or characters are much more glaring and obvious, and thus easier to pick out--whether by your eyes or someone else.

Foreshadow is defined as: to show or indicate beforehand; prefigure:

In storytelling, this is where you slip in hints about future events, character reactions, pieces of the plot that are hidden from the reader as yet, and anything else that belongs mostly in the later parts of your story. In mystery, these are the clues that guide the reader toward the inevitable "the butler did it!" Or perhaps, the hints of a great "ring" or "heir" in fantasy that your hero (or heroine) simply must find. And so on throughout the genre.

The important thing to remember is our little video up top. Too light or too heavy. Foreshadow must never overpower the main plot. It should be a subtle, gentle niggling thought or ideal that pushes the reader and plot forward along the path you desire, but without beating them over the head with the obviousness of the path.

If you can think of a crossroads. Foreshadow should be a smudged sign, with an arrow pointing to a town without a name, and only a vague direction. When foreshadow becomes a brightly painted, light-bejeweled billboard...your readers will become bored, or even annoyed.

Too light, however, is just as bad. If your foreshadow sign is crooked, with arrows pointing in no particular direction at all, so covered with mud that not one letter can be deciphered, your readers will head nowhere fast. And likely reach a destination so unexpected, they'll be just as unhappy as the first.

Clues that are heavily hidden, prophecies couched in unfamiliar and severely vague terms, and stern fact listing of some technology that is then used in the plot several chapters later are all much too light foreshadowing. Readers will often feel cheated, lost, or simply confused. A confused reader is a lost reader. And that is never, ever good.

There are books that I have read, and reached the end furious at the surprise the author threw into the climax that seemed to have no connection or hint at all throughout the book/series. There is a problem when I must re-read the series, sometimes more than once, before I can catch the light hints and foreshadow.

Now, yes, some people may prefer it to be very light. Perhaps it is easy for them to solve plotlines, see the implied connections, and all the other sundered parts that belong to this, but I personally (and many of the readers that I've spoken to) do not.

If I reach the end, and I'm lost, it's highly likely I will not pick up any more books by that author, no matter the reviews. A tricked reader can hold a "grudge" for a long, long time. (I personally will not read anything written by particular authors simply because of the same matter)

The most important thing to remember about foreshadow is balance. Give the reader enough information that they know this particular fact, or this light hint, or suggestive facial expression/dialogue are important, but not the why. It strokes a reader's curiousity and encourages them to continue reading, if just to find out what happens next. Foreshadow can also create tension.

For an example, in one of my stories, a young lady is working as a servant, filling lords' baths in a palace. In the antagonist's POV, he is stalking this girl, and at the very end of his POV, he thinks: "Perhaps Lord Jabin should request a bath."

Did I directly state his course of action, what he'd do exactly to this girl? No. But the hint of it, the foreshadow of what should happen the next time Jabin and the girl have a scene together, spikes the tension. You may not know exactly how or what, but there's enough information to let you know that something bad is on its way, involving those two, and drives you to turn the page.

Balance, young padawan.